Me to We Talk Podcast

Episode 35: Selective Amnesia

June 26, 2020 Me to We Talk Podcast - So Help Me God Album Season 2 Episode 35
Me to We Talk Podcast
Episode 35: Selective Amnesia
Chapters
Me to We Talk Podcast
Episode 35: Selective Amnesia
Jun 26, 2020 Season 2 Episode 35
Me to We Talk Podcast - So Help Me God Album

Join the Me to We Talk Podcast as we explore Selective Amnesia in marriage!  Find out what to do when your mate purposely forgets the things that are important to you... because it doesn't benefit them! Ouch! We encourage you NOT to have a forgettable relationship!  Learn how to be irresistible to your mate so your spouse has no time to FORGET YOU!  Join us as we identify the top 5 triggers that cause your mate to come down with a good ole case of Selective Amnesia before it's too late!  Don't forget to download, share and subscribe this episode Today!  Forget me not!

Learn more about us at: campsite.bio/metowe

Me to We Talk Podcast presents The Truth Serum Series! Address Godly relationship issues and topics not normally discussed in church settings...but should! Join Elders Conell & Rhonda Hollins as they speak the Truth, The Whole Truth and nothing but the Truth...So Help Me God.  Available for Free download! Check us out at our podcast website Me to We Talk and join our blog...The Talk of the Town to get the latest topics up for discussion on the Me to We Talk Podcast! Join us on air! Click here to contact us we would love to hear your perspective and talk with you live during our podcast! Listen, and let the truth set you free!

Support the show (http://paypal.me/metowetalk)

Support the show (http://paypal.me/metowetalk)

Show Notes Transcript

Join the Me to We Talk Podcast as we explore Selective Amnesia in marriage!  Find out what to do when your mate purposely forgets the things that are important to you... because it doesn't benefit them! Ouch! We encourage you NOT to have a forgettable relationship!  Learn how to be irresistible to your mate so your spouse has no time to FORGET YOU!  Join us as we identify the top 5 triggers that cause your mate to come down with a good ole case of Selective Amnesia before it's too late!  Don't forget to download, share and subscribe this episode Today!  Forget me not!

Learn more about us at: campsite.bio/metowe

Me to We Talk Podcast presents The Truth Serum Series! Address Godly relationship issues and topics not normally discussed in church settings...but should! Join Elders Conell & Rhonda Hollins as they speak the Truth, The Whole Truth and nothing but the Truth...So Help Me God.  Available for Free download! Check us out at our podcast website Me to We Talk and join our blog...The Talk of the Town to get the latest topics up for discussion on the Me to We Talk Podcast! Join us on air! Click here to contact us we would love to hear your perspective and talk with you live during our podcast! Listen, and let the truth set you free!

Support the show (http://paypal.me/metowetalk)

Support the show (http://paypal.me/metowetalk)

Unknown Speaker :

Welcome back, everyone. It is the Me to We Love Talk podcast. And yes, it is the truth serum series where we promise to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God. Yes. And we have another impactful episode, and it's for everyone that is looking to move their marriage forward. Okay. Okay, I see you, I see you, but what if offer yet no, that's not acceptable. That is not acceptable, to have selective amnesia. Okay. That's right. My husband is talking about what our topic is today. And we're going to be talking about the things that cause us to forget selectively, technically, I don't forget, it's just it gets lost in translation, or I lose where I put it. Uh huh. Yeah, what you're basically saying is I forgot to remember you. You're choosing to forget. And it's not just him. I've done this too. Let me give you the definition of amnesia or selective amnesia as we were saying. It is to benefit oneself by pretending to forget. Keyword pretend, facts! Yes, those are definitely facts. And I guess I would have to say, yeah, this happens. Yeah, I mean, we all kind of make light of certain stories or make certain stories sound better, by leaving out key parts. Oh, you think that and see you're saying selective amnesia, meaning you're you're talking about the parts of your memory that you want to recall correct. Selective amnesia goes to all the stuff you don't want to recall. Like the things that you don't want to do the things that you don't want to be attached to, and things that you have no intention of doing. And so you just selectively you know, omit those memories. So you don't have to act on them. So you're saying when I say I forgot, I chose to forget? Well, it depends. It depends on the circumstances in the situation. I will say you're very good about remembering the things that you want to remember. Right? But there are some times when you know, maybe I'm a little naggy or I've gotten on your nerves that week, or vice versa. Or vice versa. And you may have asked me to do something or I asked you to do something, you know, I guess but I don't remember. You know, it's crazy when you said that I literally had a flashback because whenever you forget something, I get on you hard! You do you go hard! It's so hard, for me one you don't ever forget. So I get upset about that already. So what you do is like yeah, I'm winning. Yeah. How you gonna forget Rhonda? How are you gonna forget? I'm so wrong. But now we've introduced a new layer where I have maybe one or two forget. Now you guys I'm going to do what my husband Does True Story totally off subject? Okay. Sounds like you already sound just like you're right. Okay, so we were talking to a friend, you know, earlier today, and we were talking about, you know, they wanted to know how me and Kyle got together, right. And I was saying how I was so grateful that kind of stuck it in there with me. Because literally, I would have, you know, not dated me because of how I acted at the initial on front, you know, onset of our relationship. So we were talking about how you know, Candela and I had a few dates that were set up, and I had, like, stood him up for about five or seven days, right? And so as we're talking, he goes, That's not how I have I don't remember it that way. Right. And so I said, No, no, no, you I did and I started to name each time that I stood him up. I said, Remember, we went to the restaurant, and we're supposed to go to the taste of Chicago. Remember, he spoke and he was like, Yeah, I remember that. But then as we kept on adding them up, it came out two, five, sort of six times, right? And I was just like, okay, so five to seven. I was within range. Okay, but I didn't embellish. You know, I really gave him a bunch of different scenarios in which I stood him up. And he did stick it in there because obviously, we're married and we're doing this podcast today. Right, right. But he did not want to remember that. And I said, and this is how this episode came about, because I was just like, why is it that all of a sudden when it's it's to your detriment where it doesn't make you look that good, right? That you all of a sudden don't agree with me and you're making me out to be a liar? When in fact, I was not okay, you know, and you did? You were loving everything about me. And you were running through brick walls for your girl. And you didn't want everybody to know that and we were married. No, no, no, that wasn't the case. But the fact did remain that no one wants to look like a soccer used to play me. I was not nobody had to know the exact number here. You say like yeah was just persisting in his endeavors to pursue me, I believe he didn't. I just want you don't have to. But once you start putting numbers on things, then like my memory like really changed. Like, I don't remember, like exact numbers. I remember cuz now, I remember vaguely you do say that. But you know, I want to be precise. I want to tell the truth. And I wanted her to understand how much you fought for me, because you did. And you know, in turn, now I fight very hard for you to give you anytime I you know, I know how I could be at times, you know, and in turn, I know how you can be at times and I just wanted her to understand that you really wanted me. That's what it was. You want to understand how much I was in pursuit of you? Yeah, we're talking about how he was in pursuit of me. But it's fun. That's cool. What do you mean, see, now you remember, what do you mean? That's the key phrase. Someone says when someone says What do you mean? They don't want to remember what you mean? But I don't I really don't remember that. Now I know I love him. Now I love him to life. I want you all to understand this. But it is true. I do use selective amnesia when it benefits and you do too. No hands down. We all do. I think it's also it could be a coping mechanism as good as it is right now for what we're talking about. In some cases, it can't be where they're choosing not to remember because it was something just so traumatizing and bad. Now. Now, let's give our listeners a little bit of insight on that. So if it was a situation where they don't want to remember it, then that really falls into something different. It's not selective amnesia, because again, selective amnesia is it benefits you to forget Right, right. But in the associative amnesia, okay. Now this is you know, a type of memory or a loss or an inability to recall important personal information that would not typically be lost with ordinary forgetting. You know how you can forget I forgot my keys. I forgot that my sunglasses are on the top of my head type of thing. No, it's not that this is usually caused by trauma. extreme stress. So you know, that's a little bit different. And so it can change the way you view the memory, you know, like certain trauma, there's certain things that can be trauma triggers, you know, Yes, true that will make you remember everything but the actual act itself, because it may be just that traumatizing where you don't want to deal with. So you know, there's different type of one things with this. But if we're talking about selective amnesia, which you really have a huge case of you come down with it very often. And I wish they would find the cure to it, sir. I mean, I really do. But it's a situation where you're just saying, okay, I love someone. I love them so much that I'm going to remember everything that they have to say right now. But selective amnesia, saying just the opposite. I mean, wouldn't you agree? No hands? No, actually, the cure is the fact of just trying harder to remember the important things, okay, because like you were just saying, if you really think about what you're basically saying is I remember what I want to remember Remember the things that make me look good and certain, like, I choose to forget the other things. And so we both to know we do we do. But it does come down to me just like applying myself more to remember. And just being totally, totally transparent. I do tend to forget a lot of things to set the most important things. And I suppose you can say, but I do make it a point of when you're talking to kind of listen for certain key things or even start trying to write stuff down. Yeah, because I know my own limitations when it comes to remembering, and especially if I because my wife calls me to cut off killing people. So especially if I'm not able to get it out right away. I have to jot it down because if I don't use it, I will lose it. Yeah, he does. He he does. But you know what, it's because I think it's a benefit to our marriage. You know, like, that's when selective amnesia works for you. And it's the same thing. It's like, you know, like, we get into an argument and we're in the middle of argument then when it's done. It's like, forgot what we were arguing about. Yeah, like you do it here. I love Love, love. We'll get Use selective amnesia, it will it'll, it'll cause you to say, you know what, that wasn't, it's not worth it, you know? And I would rather get rid of the bad and keep the good, true, you know, and so that's when selective amnesia works in your benefit. We want to give you guys at least five reasons. Like if you hear these are trigger points, this is going to cause selective amnesia for you to be infected with it. We want to make sure now you become infected. Yeah, we want to make sure that you remember Okay, so if you hear this statement, if memory serves me correct, right, if you hear that Ouch. Oh, if memory serves me correct, okay, if you hear that statement, you need to be careful, okay? Because this is coming into a point where unforgiveness is following right behind that if memory serves me correct, you did this this this this this. These are those times when you might want to not remember Yeah, you bet a duck and Hi, cuz it sounds like you might get that whole rundown if memory serves me correctly. That just sounds like you might get it. Yes, it does. You know, it reminds me that quote, and we read this quote in class I recall and it says, I have done that says my memory I cannot have done that says my pride remains inexorable, eventually, memory yields. Okay, when I hear that particular quote, I have done that says my memory, right, I cannot have done that says my price. You know, you have, have you ever had a disagreement with your man, you're like, you remember you said this, you said this over and over again. And they're like, I could not have said, I didn't do that don't sound like me, right? And then they could have pain on your hands and you're like, you painted the fence red. Like, I could not have done that. I didn't even have a design. I don't even remember that. Right. And you look and they look down and they have all the proof in front of them. Oh, I guess I did. I think this is where they talk about how your pride gets in the way. Oh, yeah, absolutely. If your pride gets in the way you just can't be wrong. So you remember again, the facts that remind you or benefit you, right? And so that brings us to point number two, okay? You the memory is going to serve its owner, right? Because you know, you say that like if memory serves me correct. If memory serves me, you're right. Let's leave it there. Forget about correct. Okay? And it's gonna benefit whoever is giving back the memory whoever is bringing back the auditory remembrance. They're like, they're like, hold on. No, no, no, I didn't do that. Does that right? What do you say? No, I am in total agreement cuz I can tell you can tell a story. And I'm gonna tell the exact same story, but I can make my sound more boastful when it talks about me. canal the spy, you know, say I can get deep and they can be so methodical because you know you want to because you can embellish yourself. Yeah, you get animated with it. Yeah, you're like, Oh, you know what, but remember, and I was breaking down I was breaking down walls and barriers for you. We can make a love story sound good. You can You can and but then again, again, the memory serves its owner, right? So just remember that Okay, now let's go to number three. You ready? I'll pay for what I'm listening here for. Oh, come like so intently. Listen, okay. Okay, you won't forget me. Ah, we'll see. Okay. Okay, number three, you know, memory will self protect its unbelief. Okay. I never heard that one. Yeah. So what I would tell you is this if you have a situation where you're backed into a corner and all the evidence is pointing in the direction that you're wrong, right? Oh, you know, you're gonna stick with that unbeliever, you're gonna go down with the ship, right, man when you just say that. I've told my wife this story before. I was talking to a young lady in high school, and I knew I was lying. And she knew I was lying. grabbed you by the shoulders and gave a couple of shakes. I shook the true fans who I shake my trophy. To her like, you know, I'm telling you the truth, you know, she's like I do. I do know it was crazy. Okay, what's your truth so we're gonna bring okay all right you can shake me all day and I'll be like I guess I got the shake thing cuz I'm gonna tell you that's not what's happening you know so okay so here we go right so then let's go to number four okay in accuracies sabotage your marriage Oh this one you can't keep it together yeah it's like if you keep on saying certain things and they just keep coming back and accurate right your memory you keep forgetting the little things you forget an anniversary you forget that you were supposed to go on a day you forget them where you did your first kiss and first of all, you know what I understand? It's not always men that forget it is women that forget to okay. And if you forget those very, you know milestone moments within your marriage Hey, you know what you're setting yourself up for that person not to trust anything you do or say? Yeah, then that's when you're in a really big debacle. Right? That's actually the part of it that was taken from you when you first set it. That's what you're forgetting the muscles but you're just forgetting the stories you already told. And they're not adding up. Yeah, and it made me think of starting to show you watch what I was talking about. Let me check my receipts. I got receipts for what you say and what you do. So let me check it against what you're saying and not because they don't add up. That's true. But you know what happens when you are inaccurate like that? It's the fact that you require receipt all right? Because if what why isn't your word enough right? Why isn't your actions enough right? When you need receipts is when someone doesn't trust you and they need proof. That's true, you know, right. Oh, it can get sticky you guys I know Tango where we we we first learned to the sea. That's right as right and we want to make sure that you understand and remember who you are in your relationships. It is vital No, is it not? And you know, it reminds me in the Bible, and I love in James and I'm gonna give it to you guys ESV version because I love ESV version when we're talking, but it says in James 124 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. Right? So if you forget who you were who you said you were at the beginning of this relationship, right then Were you really that person? Were you ever really that person? Thank you Dr. Knowledge kind of that's like when you will meet your representative. You can't and you cannot keep that up for the long haul. No, you can't. And you know, in those cases, it's not selective amnesia. It's just you, you know, you are purposefully a liar. You know, you're a deceiver, and you have chosen to be and I select you as a liar, right? And that's what it really comes down to. So yes, we don't we don't want you to look and forget who you are. Because you know, it is very clear when you when you're married. You're so Post a look at that person as yourself. You're supposed to look at your as a husband you're supposed to look at your wife is your own body as a as a wife, you're supposed to look at your husband as one flesh. You're my reflection. Yeah, we're each other's reflection. Right? So if I just keep on forgetting everything if just you know when it's convenient, right, or even when it's inconvenient because, you know, I guess it goes back to that statement. Inconvenient Truth. You know, it's inconvenient. You know, for you to be honest, that is a problem. You know, that's what makes it even worse. So I have to tell you guys this one, and I think this one will rounded out. Forgive me not, you know, if you like me now, forgive. Don't forget me. You can't. And it makes me think of those flowers. You know, those Forgive me not flowers, although the white ones with the little yellow in the middle. Yeah. And they're blue on the outside is blue. Okay, no, no, no, it's there. Why and they've got yellow. It's like a slow way. So you're right to baby. We're in this together. I got you, baby. I'm covering you. But you know, there's an old saying about, you know, those Forget Me Not flowers. And I don't know if you've ever heard this but it's a popular they say like it's a myth or it's a childhood story. And it's about how God was creating the earth. And when he created all the flowers, he started to name each one of them every single one of them, right? And after God named all the flowers, and was about to leave, one tiny little flower started to cry out and say, forgive me now, Lord, right. And then God, look back at the tiny plant and told him or her, this will be your name. So no one will ever forget you. And, you know, I just believe it really comes down to God's love for you. Like, he loves you. He knows every hair on your head, right? Right. He knows and he knew you best when you were knitted together in your mother's womb, he's not going to forget anything about you, because he loves you so much. Right? And if you love your mate, you're gonna take that time to stretch that memory muscle and make sure that you don't Forget them not in this selective amnesia is not cool, right? It's just not it's not best for a marriage. It's, it's gonna take you away and I, I just want you to remember to love me. I do okay, and forget me not. Because if you do then I'm like, oh dang, he came down with a case of selective amnesia. Well, it's a good thing that I'm very unforgettable. Oh, shut your mouth is unforgettable. And we want unforgettable love for each and every one of you. And we want to thank you for joining us for another episode of The me to weed talk podcast where we promise to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God. Yes, we'll see you next time. Don't forget Transcribed by https://otter.ai